Chelsea: New Year Resolutions

Having read the brilliant Chelsea4Girls player resolutions, The Chelsea Blog has put together a few we think our players might do well to consider this New Year:

 

Andre Villas Boas: Slap the press in the face weekly

Petr Cech: Play at least one game in full riot gear

Branislav Ivanovic: Find a more secure cupboard to lock Bosingwa in

Ashley Cole: Find that bloody mobile phone

David Luiz: Put Rooney on his arse again

Michael Essien: Play more than half a season

Oriol Romeu: Stay away from Barcelona

Ramires: Complete homework on time

Frank Lampard: Delete Elen’s Twitter account

Fernando Torres: erm, score!

Juan Mata: Avoid pics with my brother the boss

Didier Drogba: Catch that sniper

John Obi Mikel: Remind AVB I exist

Florent Malouda: Find a club that doesn’t mind my lack of effort

Raul Meireles: Get a decent haircut

Jose Bosingwa: Avoid cupboards

Romelu Lukaku: Beat Jodie Marsh at bodybuilding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paulo Ferreira: Come out of retirement

Josh McEachran: Get a game, somewhere, anywhere

Salomon Kalou: Get my own armchair for the dug out

Ross Turnbull: Get myself a GK’s helmet

Daniel Sturridge: Kick RvP’s arse

John Terry: Avoid HMP holidays

Sam Hutchinson: Just play football again

Ryan Bertrand: Get as many Twitter followers as Josh

Henrique Hilario: Learn to catch

4 Responses to “Chelsea: New Year Resolutions”

  1. Probable new years solutions

    AVB out
    Romeu out
    Cahill in
    (insert expensive player here) in
    Champions league out
    Fans out

  2. Get a creative midfielder nd replace ur defence apart 4rm ivanovic nd luiz nd get som1 2 help torres out front example: hulk…… Sell drogba get rid of malouda give lukaku a more chances

  3. Was gonna write about all the bad things were doing to ourselves but after watching the last game, we are a joke. Someone tell me when chelsea want to win there games again

  4. Cahill is made out to be a big superstar. I just don’t see it. If he was that good, he would be standing out in a poor Bolton side, but he isn’t. Last season Jones at Blackburn looked a good player in a poor team, and he mostly looks good for Man U. Irrespective of what the media says, Owen Coyle has said that Chelsea have been the only club in for Cahill.